Frequently Asked Questions
‘It should be known that if anyone is seeking God, the Beloved is seeking that person much more’
— ST JOHN OF THE CROSS, LIVING FLAME 3.28
— ST JOHN OF THE CROSS, LIVING FLAME 3.28
Yes, firstly you have to be a Roman Catholic and at least 18 years old to be accepted as a novice. Women would ordinarily have completed their education, and it is often of benefit to have a little experience of working life outside. It is easier to adapt to the demands of religious life if one enters under 40. We do however accept women above this age where for one reason or another they have been unable to respond to the call earlier. Women aspiring to this way of life should be in good physical and mental health and free of debts and other enduring responsibilities, unmarried, or widowed. You don’t have to be a saint, but it’s a good thing to aspire to become one! A good sense of humour helps too! We currently have three Sisters in initial formation.
Monastic enclosure is an expression of our voluntary separation from the world. We go apart, not to turn our back on the world, but to become more ‘a part of it’. We take the concerns of the world into our prayer. In practical terms, enclosure involves restrictions on our going out and on people coming in. We choose this in order to foster our closeness to God, and to free ourselves from many of the distractions that attend lots of business and social interactions. We freely hone our energies, affections and activity to focus on the one thing necessary, loving God. Just as many people found lockdown (a sort of enclosure) freed up time and attention to give to prayer, to garden, to appreciate birdsong and one another, we too find that enclosure helps us place God at the centre of our lives.
We do go out for essential medical purposes, or to visit our sick Sisters. There are opportunities to attend initial and on-going formation meetings, as encouraged by the Holy See.
Family and friends are allowed to visit. We have self-catering accommodation where they can stay if they wish. Each Sister works out with the Prioress or Novice Mistress what is best in the circumstances. It would be rare to have more than a visit a month, and many have much less than that.
We keep in touch with loved ones by letter or email. Use of the phone is by permission. Internet is used for the business of the house, to find out essential information and for ongoing formation.
We don't choose our own work, but gladly do the work allocated to us by the Prioress. Our chief paid work is packing altar breads. We also grow much of our own fruit and vegetables, and do jobs like cleaning, cooking, administration, looking after the Sacristy and library, making cards and booklets. A few members of the community have written, edited and published books, though this is not essentially our work.
We have a field which some Sisters walk round, others cycle, skip, or walk in the garden, looking out over the gorgeous panorama of hills across the valley.
We would all agree that this really isn’t a problem in Carmel! The life is very balanced between periods of prayer, work, spiritual reading, meals and community recreation time. Because of the repetition of basic activities, and the breaking up of the day into small chunks, we all find that time seems to whizz by. What with birthdays, the ‘Community Feast’ (holiday-at-home), confession days, retreat periods, a community day of Recollection and an individual hermit day each month, visits from family/friends, the Bishop, the occasional speaker we find there is rarely a dull moment. This has all temporarily reduced with social distancing however.
We have Exposition for an hour twice a week, on certain Feasts, and one Friday a month we have all day Adoration. Our Constitutions recommend saying the Rosary and many Sisters make the Station of the Cross – this is a matter for free choice, these being prayed in private.
Different Sisters would answer this differently. All would agree that one experiences a deep attraction to Carmel and this way of following Jesus. It may be that one particularly resonates with the life and teaching of one of our Carmelite saints. It might be that your imagination has always been captivated by reading the Desert Fathers and there is an attraction to the hermit life of prayer, lived out in community. At some point a vague attraction has to take concrete form through a visit to a particular house, where somehow one feels comfortable and at home. There may be a parallel here to the call to marriage. A woman wishing to marry feels a general attraction to marriage. However ultimately she only knows this is her vocation if she meets and falls in love with ‘Bob’, and – importantly – he with her. It’s a two-way thing! Arguably she could just as well marry Doug, but perhaps she is not attracted to Doug. Her soul does not feel a match – a likeness – that would keep them going over time. The attraction to Jesus is experienced as something one wants to live out in this setting; there is a sense that this is something He wants for me in relation to Him. Becoming a nun means being formed in, and receiving the charism of, the Order. Amazingly we receive a share in the very same charism that St Teresa of Avila and St John of the Cross received from God. However, the woman enquiring, if she has the vocation, already has the seed of the charism in her heart. There is a sense that something in me resonates with your charism.
Feeling an attraction to marriage, or a particular individual, doesn’t mean you’re not called to religious life. If (as well or instead) you have repeated thoughts about giving your life to Christ, as His Beloved (even perhaps alongside occasional resistance to and aversion to the idea), recognise that this is not what most women think of, and that it might well be an inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and definitely is worth attending to. It can be helpful to get a Spiritual Director to talk it through with. If that is what God wants for you, that is where you will ultimately be happiest and most fulfilled. Those who ignore the call, often report that a certain regret remains with them throughout life, so it really is worth exploring while all your options are open and you are free to pursue it.
To have an evangelical heart is a good sign of a contemplative vocation. St Thérèse desired to serve God on the missions, but she sacrificed this desire, believing she could save more souls by embracing an austere life in Carmel, never seeing the fruit of her prayers and sacrifices. As we know, she is now patroness of the missions, the youngest Doctor of the Church, and she’s still working!
It is the Carmelite nun’s privilege to stand, like the prophet Elijah, in the presence of God, interceding on behalf of the world. We follow the Rule of St Albert. Its core element is pondering the law of the Lord day and night. So Scripture is central to our life, and whether praying or working we try to remember and remain always in the company of Jesus, and direct all our activity to Him. Solitude and silence are key elements of the charism. Because of this we work alone. Holy Mass is the centre of our day. Through our offering of our selves through the evangelical vows of poverty, chastity and obedience at monastic profession our whole life, even our smallest acts – offered to God with love, can become something fruitful for the Church. All this is lived in the context of a loving community life, which encourages us to persevere through difficulties, as well as revealing our faults and so rubbing the rougher edges off us!
First: pray. ‘Lord, make your desires my desires! Guide me to where You want me’. Commit the matter to Our Lady. Be rather discreet and keep it to yourself and one or two others, such as a Spiritual Director. Ultimately you’ll only know if you email, and come and visit. You can just make it a retreat, or can ask to meet some of the Sisters. You could attend one of our vocation events first currently held on Zoom. We get a fair amount of enquiries, so you need not worry that you are putting your life on the line. It is understood that this is a preliminary gathering of information and you’re not signing on the dotted line. There is only so much information that one can really gather through the Internet. At a certain point you have to ‘come and see’.